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30 Terribly Cheesy Christmas Jokes

I’m one of these people who find even the cheesiest, silly Christmas jokes found inside Christmas crackers funny. They aren’t exactly the most funny of jokes if you think about it, most are terrible in fact, but I can’t help but laugh my socks off at some of them.

Here is a list of 30 cheesy, silly Christmas jokes.


Why did the Rudolph cross the road? Because he was tied to the chicken! 

What happened to the turkey at Christmas? It got gobbled!

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple!

Why don’t penguins fly? Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!

What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonky donkey!

Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity? Because the Star is in the Yeast.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow

Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

Did Rudolph go to school? No. He was Elf-taught!

Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks!

How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve

How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? 25. There’s “no EL”!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis!

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? Mistle-toad!

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door!

What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nose? Frosty the snowman with a hot flush!


What did you think about these jokes? Are there any that you would add too? If you have any jokes, then I would love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below.

Nikki x

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