I saw an article recently that had been written for and published on the Metro UK. The article, titled “My boyfriend isn’t my best friend, and yours shouldn’t be either” is pretty self-explanatory really. The writer shares her opinions on why your boyfriend (fiancé and husband included) shouldn’t be classed as your best friend.
Personally for me, I disagree.
Mr J and I have a relationship that started out a year before we were romantically involved where we were friends… Best friends to be exact. He wasn’t my only best friend at the time but he was a best friend nonetheless. We met in 2004 and quickly became close friends. He was so friendly and always supported me if I had any problems. He listened to me like no one had ever listened to me before. It was an instant click. We both had feelings other than friendship but it wasn’t until over a year later when we became a couple.
Since that day, he’s kept me afloat in the hectic world we live in. I know I can always count on him for anything.
The writer of the article mentions how she winces when people say that their partner is their best friend. That people have lost hope for all external relationships from their romantic relationship. For Mr J and I, this isn’t the case at all even though I call him my best friend. We have friends. Yes, a small group of close friends but they are a group that we see more as brothers and sisters than friends. We haven’t given up on all friendships; we’ve just cut out the toxic ones.
When I met Mr J, I did have another best friend. We had been best friends for years, all through high school in fact. Within a few months of Mr J and I becoming a couple she turned her back on us both. From the beginning she didn’t want Mr J and I together. She was the type of best friend that I thought for all those years I could rely on. The type of best friend that knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. She was the type of best friend that I believed I could trust.
But she turned out to be the type of best friend I didn’t want. She tried her hardest to ruin my relationship with Mr J. She kept secrets from me when I thought we had trust and she also used to talk bad about me behind my back to another of our friends. On this one occassion, I was ill so I called in sick to Sixth Form. One of our other friends heard her talking to someone about me, saying I was faking it and she didn’t believe I was ill. I never missed a day if I couldn’t help it. She went so far as to claim Mr J was laughing with his friends at how our relationship was a joke and he was cheating on me with multiple other women. All of which weren’t true.
Was that really a best friend I wanted? One that obviously didn’t think as much of me as I did her. I may have cut her from my life, but it was she who ditched me a long time before.
I’m loyal to Mr J, always have been and always will be. If I had a loyalty to another best friend, whether they would stab me in the back at a seconds notice or not, Mr J would still always be my choice. He is my partner, we are spending our lives together. If I can’t be loyal to him, confide in him or support him then what relationship would we have? I’m not in denial about anything, I can maintain more than one relationship at once and I’m nowhere near being smug about it.
I’m much happier now with Mr J and our small group of close friends than having a so-called “best friend” that would happily hug me just to feel where they could stick the knife. I have family and friends as well as Mr J who will always be my partner and my best friend.
Personally I believe that it’s all down to personal experiences and perspectives. From my experience and perspective, I couldn’t imagine Mr J not being my best friend and I’m glad that I removed the toxic “best friend” from my life.
You can read the other side of the debate from the Metro UK too. Click the link below.
Why Turning Friends Into Partners Is The Best Formula For A Happy Relationship
What are your opinions on this debate? Do you agree with the Metro UK writer? I’d love to hear your opinions. Please leave them in the comments below.